3rd (& 4th?) Chapters of an adventure story

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FluffyMao
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3rd (& 4th?) Chapters of an adventure story

Post by FluffyMao »

Hi there! I'm back again with another (two?) chapters. Technically I wrote this as one thing, but it's over 6000 words, so I feel it needs to be broken up. But YOU can be the final judge of that!

Let me know what you think! Particularly if you got lost anywhere while reading since this part involves a puzzle room.

Chapter 3 (?): (word count: 3438)
Spoiler:
Contradictory sensations ripped through Rin until he was certain Kinzi had turned a blind eye to him.

Freezing.

Numbness.

Blackness.

Falling.

Compression.

Pain.

Burning.

Spinning.

Stretching.

Blinding white.


Abruptly he was spat out. He fell to his knees on a smooth stone floor and promptly lost his breakfast all over it. Then his stomach made a fair attempt at tossing everything he might eat in the next week as well.

Three times…I have to go through that three times?! He bit his tongue to keep from muttering aloud, and shakily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Then he realized he could actually see his hand. Immediately, his head swiveled around to find the source of light. Set into the stone block wall in what looked like a bronze bracket, a good dozen hands above his head, was a torch.

A glance around the rest of the room made Rin spend the next ten to fifteen minutes desperately trying to scale the wall in order to reach that blessed torch.

The room was large and completely dark except for two torches on opposite sides, far apart. Only one torch illuminated a door. And it wasn’t on Rin’s side. The torches lit up only a small amount of the room, namely a bit of stone floor and a slightly raised wooden section that stretched out into the darkness. On either side of the wooden section was pitch blackness. And nothing that Rin could feel when he tentatively reached down. Just…darkness.

Blood and bone! Rin griped to himself as he once more slid down the just-rough-enough-to-hurt-but-smooth-enough-to-be-unclimbable wall. Glaring up at that torch, just out of reach, he kicked the wall. And nearly jumped out of his skin when his boot connected with something, not wall, and sent it flying. A great clattering shattered the silence.

Spinning about, Rin saw a wide, shallow bowl of pale wood spinning on its rim. A collection of small river stones, smooth and flat, skittered across the stone floor, ricocheting off the wall and the raised section. A few dropped into that blackness. It took several long seconds before he heard them hit the bottom.

One hand gripping at his heart, Rin slowly sidled closer to the bowl. He tentatively nudged it once with a toe. Then again when nothing happened. A third nudge got it to stop spinning. Gingerly, heart still racing, he picked it up. Heavier than it looks. The character for luck was burnt into the bottom of the bowl.

A fortune bowl?

Picking up a few of the stones confirmed it. Each stone was etched on both sides with a character; love, good fortune, money, strength, beauty, etc. Though Rin didn’t find any stones marked with child, which was odd. He didn’t know much about fortune bowls, but the child stones were important. Every stone was important, but child stones meant…well, babies and stuff. Which was really important to Grandmother and all her old lady friends.

Grandmother had several fortune bowls, all with their own set of stones. None of which he was allowed to touch. She’d freaked out when one of the amber stones from the tanza wood bowl had gone missing. She’d taken her slipper to him, Azti, and Nika. Which hadn’t been fair. Nika hadn’t done anything.

Okay. A fortune bowl. With missing stones. In a dark room. Rin considered the problem as he picked up the stones that hadn’t fallen into the black pit. Should I take the bowl with me? Or maybe the stones?

He placed the bowl of stones back in the corner and skirted the puddle of sick as he made his way carefully to the raised wooden section of floor. Maybe I just need to make it across?

The torchlight showed just enough of the wooden walkway for Rin to examine it. It was about as wide as his arm was long, with a two-by-two pattern of large wooden squares set edge-to-edge into the walkway. Each square was sliced across the grain, each a different kind of wood: one pale, one orange, one hydrawood, and one black plantain.

Rin frowned as he stared at the squares. Is this important? He could just make out that the pattern of woods repeated farther out, extending past the edges of torchlight.

I’m never getting anywhere if I just stand here! And with that thought, Rin hefted himself onto the wooden walkway. The wooden square beneath his hand depressed with a loud click.

With a panicked thought of pressure plates?! Rin flung himself back off the walkway.

Nothing proceeded to happen.

Tentatively, Rin reached across to the walkway and pressed another square. It also depressed with a click that set his teeth on edge. But nothing happened.

At least, nothing I can see, Rin thought with a glance at the surrounding black pit.

Gingerly, he crawled onto the wooden pathway. And when nothing terrible happened, he continued crawling out into the darkness. The pressure plates gave way at the slightest shift of his weight as he moved, sometimes several activating at once. Every click raised all the hair on the back of his neck.

But nothing happened.

Until, suddenly, something did.

With a click, just like all the others, Rin abruptly found himself back where he started. By an out-of-reach torch, a fortune bowl, and a puddle of vomit.

What?

For a moment he just stared out at the darkness. What in the abyss just happened?!

Then he hefted himself back onto the wooden path. So one of them does do something, he thought, studying the four wooden pressure plates he could see. Right: pale and black plantain. Left: orange and hydrawood. If he could keep track of the pattern in the darkness, maybe he could figure out which one triggered and sent him back.

He ran his fingers over the plates, not applying any weight, just feeling for something he could use to differentiate them in the dark.

There!

A hairline crack between the two plates. He couldn’t see it, but dragging his hands over the plates let his nails catch slightly on that hidden seam. It wasn’t much, but it might work.

Rin set out again, slower this time, as he tried to keep track of which wood the last pressure plate he’d set off was.

Then his left hand hit what he thought was a hydrawood square and he was, once again, back at the start.

It was a bit disorienting, suddenly being somewhere he wasn’t before. But Rin shook off the sensation in favor of clambering back up onto the wooden path. If I can just avoid the hyrdawood squares, I should be fine!

The path wasn’t that wide, but Rin wasn’t that large. He could keep to the right side. Probably.

Crawling across constantly clicking pressure plates had been nerve-wracking. But crawling across constantly clicking pressure plates while his right hand slid along the very edge of the walkway was downright terrifying.

High far down is it? Rin wondered absently as his fingers once more brushed the right edge. It had taken so long before those stones hit the bottom. But there was a bottom. Does screaming count as speaking in here?

He slid his left hand forward.

There was nothing there.

The wooden bridge ended.

Don’t panic! Rin reminded himself, as his fingers reflexively tightened on the path underneath him, the pressure plates clicking erratically under him. He stared across the room at the glimmering twin to his torch, just in line of sight but far out of reach.

He couldn’t make that jump. Not even with a running start, which he did not feel comfortable doing on this narrow of a platform in the dark. Maybe if I had a really long bo staff. But he didn’t. He had nothing. You couldn’t bring anything into the Pyramid. Depending on what an item was made of, bad things happened when you did. Mum had been vague when he’d ask at Aapo’s Questing. She hadn’t been vague last night.

Most materials from outside reacted…strangely once immediately past the threshold of the Pyramid. For instance, solid pieces of most woods (not all types had been tried…for obvious reasons) began rapidly growing into a living tree, often fusing with whatever was in contact with them. This could also happen to some foods brought inside. Anything made of iron or steel immediately melted. Just…sploosh, and you had liquid steel all over your boots. Silver kept it’s shape, but it sparked, attracting mana like lightning to copper. There were only a handful of materials known to be stable inside the Pyramid. And all of them were expensive.

Focus, Rin reprimanded himself with a shake of his head. Very carefully, he ran one hand along the very edge of the path. He found that the edge in front of him was wider than the rest of the path. His hand trailed farther right. Then farther still.

It turns! The path turns! He almost giggled in relief. He did sag down onto the clicking pressure plates; sagged down and just…breathed for a moment. Then he continued on, carefully keeping to the right side. He wobbled once or twice navigating that corner, but made it over.

Rin glanced back the way he’d come. Not directly behind him. He didn’t feel balanced enough for that. But now that he’d made it around the corner he could make out his torch, back at the beginning. He compared the distances between himself and the two torches. Halfway, he thought. Maybe a little more. Though, if the path wasn’t straight, it could be a lot longer.

Then he slid his right hand forward, and click.

Rin found himself back where he’d started.

I know I didn’t hit a hydrawood plate! He frowned darkly and thought, eyes trained on that distant torch. So much farther than it had been just a moment before. Maybe…maybe it switches which one activates the jump back after the turn? The thought wasn’t particularly confident.

But there was nothing else to do but try again.

This time, when Rin got to the turn, he awkwardly slid across the path to the left side. Once “safely” situated along the left side, he started forward again.

Click.

Rin bit his lip to keep from screaming in frustration.

He was back, once more, at the beginning.

Maybe…maybe it’s not enough to just switch sides. Rin considered the four different pressure plates. Maybe…each one of them triggers the jump back…just in different parts of the path.

That didn’t fit quite right.

Rin was fairly confident that a hydrawood plate had triggered the jump the first time. And he knew that the pale wood and black plantain squares were safe until that corner. Then…

He rubbed a hand over his face and sat back on his heels, staring at the path. This was a lot harder than he’d originally thought.

Maybe two of them can trigger there, Rin muttered to himself, working his way through what he knew. The hydrawood and…pale or black. So…I have to stay right…then move to the left at the corner…and avoid the hydrawood.

Which meant that he would need to keep track of which pressure plate was the hydrawood the entire way there.

Maybe he should just stay on the left side. Just keep track of the hydrawood plates instead of switching back and forth. Then, if the plates did switch which ones activated at different parts of the path, he’d only have to worry about two plates instead of four.

Rin began again down the path. In order to depress only the orange wood squares, he couldn’t just crawl. But each square was just big enough that he could place his hands side by side. His feet were more awkward. One foot fit nicely inside the square, but two just brushed the edges of the other pressure plate, sometimes activating it.

He ended up moving in an odd, hobbling shuffle with one leg always up in the air. He moved one hand at a time from orange square to orange square, and took steps that were just a little too big to be comfortable.

Balance was an issue. Rin was normally very balanced. Mum had had him practicing forms up on beams by the time he was ten. But in the darkness…trying to keep track of which plates were the orange ones…and trying to move in such a way that he never touched any of the others. It was a lot. So Rin took it slow.

But he did eventually reach that bloody corner again.

And he did maneuver past it.

Very tentatively, he placed his hand down on the next orange square.

Nothing happened.

Rin sighed out the breath he’d been holding. Thank you, he mouthed. He wasn’t exactly sure to who. But it felt important to express gratitude for finally making progress.

Slowly, taking great care with each movement, arm or leg, Rin made his way deeper into the darkness. There was no change in what he could see of the path. But, somehow, facing away from both torches caused his chest to tighten uncomfortably. Gradually, the light of the torches fell further and further behind him. Finally, it vanished from his periphery altogether.

Rin reached forward. And felt nothing.

Drawing in a shaky breath, he carefully felt for the edge. Then carefully explored that edge, first left, then right. He wobbled more than once, balanced on only a hand and a foot while moving an arm.

Another right turn, he determined. Another corner. The last corner had caused him so much grief.

Should I switch what square I’m on? Or stay with orange? Rin sighed and bent his elbows a bit to ease the muscle strain there. He just wanted to keep going. He desperately wanted to get back to the light.

I want out of the Pyramid. And the first step for that was getting beyond this room. And that meant reaching the far torch.

So he shoved back his discomfort and forced himself to sit still and think.

If I switch now…I could be wrong. And I’ll be sent back. He frowned down at the pressure plates as he thought. If I’m right…I’ll just keep going. But…if the squares shift after the same amount of distance I’ll lose that information.

Rin nodded to himself and stayed on orange, slowly making his way through the turn.

And continued. No jump back.

Orange it is.

It was a little reassuring to have made the right guess. It was even better to have a torch, any light source really, back in his line of sight.

I’m so sick of darkness.

But the boy pressed onwards. Slowly, but steadily.

Eventually, Rin came across yet another corner, sooner than he’d expected, actually. He investigated this one in much the same way as the previous.

Left. Away from the light. That was not a happy realization.

He glanced around as best as he could without upsetting his precarious stance. It was hard to properly gage just based on the positions of two torches in an otherwise dark room, but he thought he might be near the center of the room. Assuming it’s square…but if it is, that might mean I’m halfway there! That was a decidedly happier thought.

Rin decided to stay on orange again, for much the same reasons as before, as he made his way around the corner. Once more, it paid off.

One more corner in, he thought happily to himself. Progress!

And with one small click, all that progress was gone.

Rin whirled around and slammed his fist into the stone wall below the torch. Which, as he slapped his other hand over his mouth to muffle the cry, wasn’t the brightest thing he’d ever done.

With knuckles freshly bruised, Rin dropped his forehead to the cool stone wall. I hate this. He let his whole body slump against the wall, and slowly slid down to the floor. Eyes squeezed shut tight (really, what was the difference between one darkness and another), he just…breathed. Just inhaled the scent of cold stone and old must and tried to clear his head a bit. That was hard to do when all he really wanted to do was hit the wall again. Preferably until one of them broke. But that wouldn’t accomplish anything but hurt more. So, breathing it was.

I hate this.

He had no idea how long he’d been in that room. Too long, came the dark thought. It certainly felt like a while.

This is the first puzzle room. Somehow he had to find that ring room two more times. And work through at least two more rooms. His breath hitched uncomfortably at the thought.

Nika would know what to do.

Nika wouldn’t have moved from the stone floor until he’d figured out what the pressure plates did. And what the bloody hells that fortune bowl is for, Rin thought bitterly, resisting the urge to kick the bowl.

Nika wouldn’t have been able to outrun the nekhesa.

His fist hit the wall once more with a thud. The pain was a welcome distraction from that particular train of thought.

Nika’s safe in Hifumegu, Rin told himself. And he made himself believe it as he stood back up. Dad won’t risk him in the Pyramid.

Dad wouldn’t have risked Rin in the Pyramid if he hadn’t been Mum’s son. But he was. And that was all there was to it.

Shaking out his hand, Rin made his way back over to the wooden path. He glared at it, scowling at each individual wooden pressure plate.

Alright, he thought. I was only touching the orange wood last time. He carefully climbed back onto the path. So, if I stay on orange until that third corner…or was it fourth… He gave his hair a yank, ostensibly to tighten the tie, but mostly out of frustration. Stay on orange. Then switch to hydrawood after…after…when the path turns from the light again.

With a somewhat stiff nod to himself, Rin set out once again along the wooden, pressure plate strewn path in that hobbling gait that worked his muscles in ways they’d never been worked before. Muscles that were beginning to feel the strain. But he wouldn’t stop to rest. Not once he’d started out again. He could rest when (if) he reached the far torch. Or if (when) he got sent back.

Anger was not a nice companion to have when trying to balance awkwardly on three limbs while moving precisely. Frustration even less so. Both of them made Rin impatient, hasty. He wavered near the edge more often. He nearly fell more than a few times. But both of them were excellent fuels to keep him pushing forward when it felt like his arms were going to collapse.

One corner down. He stayed on orange.

The second corner was successfully traversed. He stayed on orange.

The third corner was trivial by that point. He hesitated.

Maneuvering around this corner had caused Rin to turn away from the light provided by the torches.

I think this is it…so…I switch to hydrawood?

He was fairly sure that he needed to switch which square he walked on. But…what if I made a mistake last time? What if…I have to stay on orange?

He had been certain that he’d stayed on orange last time. That he hadn’t touched any other squares. Now, though…he wasn’t so sure.

So, he hesitated.

He stared down at the solid darkness beneath his fingers (which he couldn’t see either), and imagined the pattern of squares. Situating them mentally where they should be based on where his hands were currently. The next hydrawood square should be just a fingernail away from his fingertips.

Still, he hesitated.

Just the thought of having to redo this entire path all over again because he’d messed it up again because he didn’t really know what he was doing because he was twelve and was warrior caste and not scholar because he was Mum’s son not Dad’s first son because Aapo had died and left Nika first son and even if Aapo had come back Rin would still be stuck here because he was just no good at puzzles apparently…well…it just, maybe…possibly…the tiniest smidgen might…actually…upset him.

And that realization made Rin grit his teeth and slam his hand down on the next hydrawood square.

Click.
Chapter 4 (?): (word count: 3017)
Spoiler:
The torchlight flickered mockingly right above Rin’s head. The other torch glittered right in his line of sight, taunting him. The vomit puddle smelled abominably like rotten eggs and beans.

He could hear the clicking of that traitorous pressure plate in his head. Over and over and over…

Rin threw himself at the wooden path and slammed his fist down on that first set of pressure plates. Then he did it again. And again. And again. Over and over, he repeatedly beat at the wooden squares, just ecstatic to take out his building frustration on something.

I hate this, he thought bitterly, punctuating every word with a fist slammed down on the pressure plates.

Cli-cli-click! went the pressure plates.

I hate it in here!

Bam!

It’s so bloody dark!

Slam!

I hate the constant clicking!

Crack!

I. Hate. This!


Click.

Rin abruptly found himself back under the torch. Fist still raised.

He blinked. His fist fell to his side.

He stared at the wooden path. The pressure plates sat there, still fully functional, though they looked a little worse for wear now.

He very carefully approached the wooden path.

He knew that none of those first squares triggered a jump back. But now they had.

Does a certain combination of pressure plates work instead of specific plates?

No. That didn’t make sense. The last two attempts all he’d touched (at least, all he thought he’d touched) were orange squares. And one hydrawood square. Which were two different combinations!

Unless the combination is a certain number of orange square and then…any square? That sounded dumb, even as Rin thought it.

He frowned down at the wooden pattern, hands braced on either side of the path.

He started poking at the pressure plates. Playing with combinations of woods. Mostly just pressing randomly.

After several minutes, with a soft click, he found himself abruptly back under the torch.

Confusion touched Rin’s face as he stared forward at the distant torch. What?

The next combination he tried was a long string of orange squares followed by a hydrawood square.

He never had a chance to press the hydrawood plate. Just the string of orange squares triggered the click that sent the very baffled boy back a few steps to stand under the torch.

Rin strode forward, determination now warring with confusion. He’d figure this out, by Aapo’s tree he would.

He proceeded to repeatedly depress the orange square, keeping count carefully.

Fifty-eight.

Fifty-nine.

Sixty.


And click. Rin was back under the torch. So, sixty orange squares triggers the jump back. So fifty-nine orange and one hydrawood should too.

That was the next combination he tried, and, sure enough, was sent back to stand under the torch for his efforts.

A thought occurred to him, as he ran forward again. How’d I hit exactly fifty-nine orange squares while…throwing a temper tantrum he did not think…but that was beside the point. And I know I didn’t press just orange when I was experimenting.

Rin tried depressing the hydrawood sixty times. Then the pale wood. Then the black plantain squares. Then pressing randomly while counting.

Every. Single. Combination.

All of them worked.

As long as sixty pressure plates were used.

Rin dropped his head to the very edge of the wooden platform, hands still holding down a pressure plate.

Sixty. No matter which they were, sixty pressure plates always triggered a jump back.

It’s not a specific wood. It’s not even a combination. It’s a certain number.

Blood and bone, but he felt stupid.

With a long, weary sigh, Rin let his hands slide off the wooden path.

Click.

He sighed again, longer and more world weary than ever before, when he found himself once more under the torch. And apparently they don’t actually trigger until they pop back up.

Why?! Why even have that affect if you can’t even

Rin’s gaze fell on the fortune bowl. The next thought was near instantaneous: Are the stones heavy enough to hold down the plates? There was really only one way to find out.

It wasn’t until he had already awkwardly clambered up onto the wooden path, fortune bowl of stones held in both hands, that the thought occurred to him that this might not be the best idea. But he was already on top of the platform, feeling more precarious than ever before while holding that large, heavy fortune bowl and all its stones and standing on one leg on one pressure plate (since both feet didn’t fit).

Just to reiterate: Rin stood, on one leg, on a wooden pressure plate on a narrow wooden bridge that was (somehow) suspended over a black pit of deep depth (and hard bottom) that wound through the darkness of the room, and he had to (somehow) find his way along the path to the other side of the room, while balanced on one leg and holding a heavy wooden fortune bowl and its stones. And, lest he forget, he had to do that without triggering more than fifty-nine pressure plates.

Rin glanced into the bowl. He had roughly three dozen stones to weigh down some pressure plates with. But he’d have to risk triggering some pressure plates.

Rin glanced down at the pressure plate he stood on. His gaze trailed inexorably down the wooden path and into the darkness.

I figured out the trick, he reminded himself with a sharp inhale. Now it’s just physical stuff. Which I’m good at. Now he just had to hop across the pressure plates. And not hop off an edge or sudden turn. He gulped, then squared his shoulders. I can do this.

That first hop was the hardest. Leaving the soft glow of the torch and leaping, literally, blind.

First, Rin very carefully tossed a stone. He had years of experience skipping river stones across the slow surface of the Inanishi River. The issue was getting the stone to stop close enough that he could actually jump to it, but far enough away that he could conserve as many stones as possible.

Still balanced on one foot, Rin bent his knee to get closer to the path’s surface and lined up the stone. With a slight flick of his wrist, the stone went flying down the path and into that darkness.

He had know idea how far away it was.

Okay…Rin slowly straightened. Maybe I should just…jump…then place down a stone to hold the plate down. He hadn’t heard any clicking. No plate had been triggered as the stone skittered across them. Is that because they’re too light?

With another careful bend, the boy placed a stone on the square he stood on. Then he jumped as far as he could.

Which turned out to not be the best idea.

Rin landed and had to twist uncomfortably to keep all the stones inside the smooth, shallow fortune bowl. For a precarious moment, he wobbled on his toes to the right what felt like too far. But he managed to stay upright and on one leg. Even better, he hadn’t heard any clicking.

The stones are heavy enough. The thought was ecstatic.

He blinked back at where that little stone sat. He could just make out that the pressure plate it sat on was slightly lower than the ones around it. He glanced down at his boots, but, predictably, saw nothing but blackness. He wasn’t quite sure where he was in relation to the path. Was he too close to the right edge? The left edge? Was he even on just one square?

A careful bend and balance of the bowl, got Rin closer to the wooden bridge. He lightly ran his fingertips over the squares to find those hairline cracks that separated pressure plates. It turned out that he was balanced on a righthand square, and pretty dead center at that. Pretty straight jump for jumping blind, if he did say so himself.

Straightened back up and with bowl balanced on his hip, like Mum did Meggi, Rin but the thumb nail of his free hand. This was going to be dangerous. Jumping around in the dark. I’d have more grip without boots. But he’d lose any foot protection against spikes or acid or just plain cracked wood. He went back and forth in his head until, finally, he nodded, and set about removing the soft boot from his raised foot, then switching legs and repeating.

With both boots in the bowl, he ran the toes of his raised foot over the squares. He could just make out the cracks between pressure plates. That’s useful!

With another stone placed, Rin jumped again. Without boots, his toes could grab the wood while he fought to balance out the weight and unwieldiness of the fortune bowl. Needless-to-say, the second landing was far smoother. It helped that he didn’t try to jump as far this time. Once stable, he felt around with his toes, and placed another stone to weigh down the pressure plate. Then he jumped again.

Rin fell into a rhythm: jump, feel for cracks to figure out where on the path he was, place a stone, and repeat. Jumping on one leg at a time was a tiring exercise, but he was suddenly thankful for Mum for imposing it. It certainly beat hobbling along on one leg and two hands.

Then, while toeing the cracks, Rin felt his toes go over an edge.

His heart stopped. There were corners. How had he forgotten that?! He could’ve leapt right off the bridge!

Okay. Rin breathed carefully. In through his nose, hold for two counts, and out through his mouth. Once the panic had subsided, he gingerly felt along the edge with his toes and carefully corrected which way he was facing accordingly with a wiggle of his other foot. Then he bent down, balancing the fortune bowl on his bent knee. With the fingertips of his free hand pressed just behind his heel, he slowly stretched out his other leg and just barely scraped over the path with his toes, slightly swinging his leg to take in the entire width of the bridge. Once he was content that there was, in fact, room to jump, he stood back up and jumped.

The click behind him reminded him he hadn’t placed a stone.

Blood and bone! How many mistakes could he make?!

It’s behind me. No fixing it now. Keep moving.

Rin integrated a careful stretch out along the path into his rhythm. It slowed his motion down considerably. And the bending up and down was a whole other workout. But it was that or leap blindly off the path entirely. Touch was the only sense he really had right then, so, he sucked it up and used it.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Stone. Jump. Bend. Stretch. Feel. Stone. Jump. Bend Stretch Feel Stone Jump.

It’s almost like a weird, drawn out version of jaculi strike, Rin found himself thinking. He couldn’t quite get the proper side kick going with the fortune bowl balanced on his knee, but it was actually pretty close otherwise. Of course, the whole point of a jaculi strike was speed to build up momentum. But thinking about the forms Mum had taught him kept him from thinking about the very long fall that awaited him if he messed up.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Stone. Jump.

Rin stopped to breathe and shake out his shoulders and legs after the third corner. The glow of both torches was somewhere behind him. It was as far as he’d ever made it before. From what he heard when he shook the bowl, he still had a fair number of stones.

Okay. Here we go.

He set out onto untouched (as far as he was concerned) path.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Stone. Jump.

Another two turns saw Rin to a straight stretch of path, both torches only glimmers of light behind him. The more bounds he made without finding a turn, the more uncomfortable and nervous the boy became.

His paranoia turned out to be completely founded, as he landed and his toes curled around the edge!

Rin jolted back in a rush before he could think. The stones in the fortune bowl rolled against the rim, and he clutched the bowl to his chest as he slammed his other foot down on solid wood. He staggered back again under the momentum and his heel slid off the right side of the bridge. Another jolt forward over-corrected again, and Rin found himself falling forward.

Can’t twist!

Both hands flung out to brace him. One scrabbled at the left edge. The other slammed hard against the wooden bridge, and he felt the wrist give in a way it shouldn’t. Stones spilled over the low rim of the fortune bowl. Then the bowl hit the bridge, and all the air in Rin’s lungs rushed out as his chest followed the bowl. Pain exploded in his left side.

The clicking of the pressure plates finally ceased.

The clattering of the stones hitting the bottom of the pit snapped Rin out of his daze.

Gingerly, testing every joint before he moved it, he sat up. He blinked rapidly, clearing away some of the wetness, and cradled his right wrist to his chest. The other hand very carefully pressed along his chest and abdomen, wincing at the bruising, but overall relieved.

No blood, at least. Not that that helped the pain in his side.

He spent several minutes just breathing through the pain, as deep as he dared, trying to test for broken bones.

He’d never had broken ribs before. Or even bruised ribs. This definitely hurt. Like all six hells rolled into one. But he could still breath. That had to mean nothing was broken. Right?

His wrist was easier to test. He’d both broken and sprained a wrist before. Several times. This didn’t feel like that. It was tender, but seemed okay overall.

Wonder of wonders, Rin actually found himself wishing Aunt Kaira were near. Not…not right there obviously. She’d probably just snip something about him losing his boots again. But Aunt Kaira was a Wisdom of Shima, a medicine woman who knew all about setting bones and stitching cuts.

Or Azti. Azti would know what to do and also wouldn’t cause a fuss about it. At least, she’d only complain at him and not tell Aunt Kaira or Mum.

By unspoken agreement, none of his children ever told Dad anything about their accidents. Not since Aapo.

Rin dragged the fortune bowl towards his knees and ran his left hand through the stones inside it. He’d lost quite a few. And his boots. He let out a shuddering sigh.

Those were new.

Aunt Kaira was going to throw such a snit when she found out.

With another ragged sigh, he really didn’t have the emotional energy for anything else, Rin proceeded to gather up the stones still on the walkway. His boots weren’t among them.

Keep moving, he reminded himself.

It took a few false starts, but he was eventually standing, the bloody bowl clutched to his good side with his good hand. He dropped a stone by his feet, then did a small bird hop.

Rin hissed in through gritted teeth. Even that baby hop jostled his wrist and side unpleasantly. But there was nothing for it. It wasn’t like he could turn back.

Keep moving.

So, he did.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Stone. Jump.

Breathe through the pain.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Stone. Jump.

Breathe through the pain.

After several more corners and a rapidly dwindling supply of stones, Rin found himself facing the far torch.

Only it wasn’t so far anymore. And it was directly in his line of sight.

Don’t rush.

He was still a ways away. And running out of stones. He had about six left.

He had no idea how many pressure plates had triggered since he’d started. One from my own stupidity, he noted ruefully. And from his fall…maybe ten? Twenty? He couldn’t be sure. Assume thirty. That meant he could afford thirty more hops without using the stones.

He made the next jump without leaving a stone behind. One, he carefully noted.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Jump. Breathe. Two.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Jump. Breathe. Three.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Rin closed the distance on that torch. He kept careful count of how many stones he didn’t leave behind.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Jump. Breathe. Twenty.

Rin’s breath hitched at the number, and he paused to breathe. His dark eyes locked onto that torch as he counted four in, hold two, four out repeatedly.

It was so close! He might be able to jump to it!

Not now. Not with the bowl. Not with his side the way it was.

But maybe!

Rin stretched out a foot and felt the path. Solid. After a moment’s thought, he placed a stone down. Then he jumped, pushing himself just a little farther than he had been. The landing wasn’t smooth. But he didn’t touch more than two pressure plates. And they didn’t click.

Again, he forced himself through meditation breaths before he moved again. Another stretch outwards with his free foot. Another solid patch of bridge. Another stone placed down. Another leap that managed to cover just a little bit more distance than the previous one.

There were definitely only three stones left.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Stone. Jump. Breathe.

Two stones left.

Bend. Stretch. Feel. Stone. Jump. Breathe.

One last stone…

When Rin next stretched out his leg, he saw his toes in the dim circle of torchlight.

Heedless of bruised ribs or strained muscles, Rin snapped back up straight and kicked off, jumping as far as he absolutely could. He ducked into a roll, and his shoulder slammed into stone floor, then stone wall.

When Rin opened his eyes again, his could just make out the doorless torch on the far side of the room.

I made it…I made it! He buried his face in his arms to muffle the relieved giggles.

One ring down. Two to go.
Last edited by FluffyMao on July 27th, 2021, 9:40 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: 3rd (& 4th?) Chapters of an adventure story

Post by KatLovesPotatoes »

This was… intense, but also hilarious.
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Re: 3rd (& 4th?) Chapters of an adventure story

Post by miss_eulenauge »

This was definitely intense. You didn't lose me at any time through the riddle, but then again I didn't have the ambition to totally understand it. It's enough for me to have a feel for what he's facing, and that was done nicely.
However you kind of lost me in the first couple paragraphs - perhaps it would have been better for me to re-read the end of chapter two first, but this way I was thoroughly confused where he is and what's happening. slowly, by the time he went for the 3rd try, I was back at it though. :)

(this comment may not have made that much sense - if so I apologize, and may expand on it once I have time. You're welcome to ask questions to better understand. Right now I'm kind of sleep-deprived -I blame SimLit- so my grammar and talking skills are a bit reduced. I'll head to bed but I really wanted to comment, so... See you! :) )
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Re: 3rd (& 4th?) Chapters of an adventure story

Post by FluffyMao »

Thanks for reading! Sorry I'm just now reading your replies, but I started travelling right after posting this and just recently got back home.

Intense in a good way? Or bad? Was the intensity okay? Or too much?

Yeah, ch 3 picks up right where ch 2 leaves off, but ch 3's opening in purposefully haphazard, so I can understand the confusion. I'll try to avoid those kinds of transitions from now on.
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Re: 3rd (& 4th?) Chapters of an adventure story

Post by WinterChild98 »

So far I've really enjoyed reading this! It's certainly intense, but in a good way. I'm eager to find out what happens next. I didn't get lost at all, and everything was described pretty well. Though I am wondering how big the squares were and how wide the path is.
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Re: 3rd (& 4th?) Chapters of an adventure story

Post by miss_eulenauge »

Intense like "couldnt stop reading to go pee at 2am"-intense... :D
Like, the suspense of him just *having* to make this... It was exactly right. :) Although I'd advise a few paragraphs of not-much-action afterwards so readers can catch their breath :)
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Re: 3rd (& 4th?) Chapters of an adventure story

Post by FluffyMao »

"couldnt stop reading to go pee at 2am"-intense -> that's gonna be my new metric for intenseness. XD

As far as using actually measurements go, I've waffled back and forth several times. I think I'll just figure out a measurement system and stick to it. I think it'll make things more clear later down the line.

Thanks for your feedback! :D
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